Different

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

Who Am I?

A recent post at Slow Leadership (http://www.slowleadership.org/blog/2009/02/who-are-you/) was deeply profound.  I came across Slow Leadership via the Center for Creative Leadership (www.ccl.org), and have been enjoying their content since.  It is rarely a quick or easily digested read, but frankly, that’s why so much of it is so good.

Friday’s post, titled “Who Are You?”, brilliantly explored the manner in which we all tend to struggle to embrace and maintain our authentic self. 

There are so many hats that we wear, roles that we play, and identities that we carry.  Our identity may be shaped by our family, our culture, our geography, our friends, our training, our employment, our religion, et cetera.  And, these identities may shift and be augmented by circumstances or seasons of our life. 

I was an athlete, but no longer compete.  I am a wife, but what if I should ever become widowed? 

I am a woman, a mother, an entrepreneur, an overachiever, a procrastinator, a friend, a dreamer, a leader, a recovering workaholic, a speaker, an encourager, a giver, and a servant. 

The fact is, our identies change.  As the article states, “we may believe we act consistently according to our image of ourselves, but the reality is different.  As we go through life, we take on, and shed various identities at different stages.”  Some of our identities are attached to or rooted in the season of our life, the friends we are keeping, the work that we are doing, a societal stereotype or the perceived expectations of others.  Unless we are firmly grounded in our authentic self, it is easy to become lost in a false identity.  Perhaps the most subtle shifts in our reality have altered our identity enough that we are unrecognizable to ourselves or others.  These such identity crises are not uncommon. 

One quote from the article “In time they become so attached to their assumed identity that they believe if they let go they will be no one; they will lose any sense of ‘who they are’ and become disconnected from themselves”, stuck me so deeply.  Remarkably, it is so easy to become numb to the influence of the world on our own self-image and identity.

In closing, from the article: 

“No one is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for having identifications. It’s part of the developmental process of life. But it’s not part of who we have to be. We can choose to let go. Only when we are able to disassociate from our identities can we be truly authentic in our everyday experiences.

Here are some questions for self-reflection:

• Who are you? What identifications define you? Why did you choose these identities? What benefits do they bring you? What problems?
• How did you come to have the identifications you have? Who would you be, and how would you feel, if you were not subject to these identifications with a self-image or a way of being?
• Do your identifications constrain you in your everyday life experiences? Can you examine your reactions, attitudes, preferences, and attachments to help you recognize how you are identified?
• If you asked your best friend what s/he saw as your identifications, what would he or she say? Would you agree?
• Can you visualize having no identifications? What might that feel like?

Colorado State University

My very impressive friend Natalie Lamberton and I had the privilege of presenting our new ACHE Congress lecture on emerging leadership at the Colorado State University Graduate College of Business this evening. We are so proud of this new seminar, and are most certainly looking forward to presenting formally in Chicago next month. However, the trial runs are invaluable. The students were very gracious and insightful, and we had a lovely time.

Now if the weather will just hold, please, so that I can make it back to Omaha tomorrow.

Merci!

Birds of a Feather

I enjoyed Tom Dolan’s (American College of Healthcare Executives CEO) perspectives column in the January / February issue of Healthcare Executive, titled “You Are the Winners”.  It profiled a recent study by the William E. Smith Institute for Association Research.  The study, titled “Where the Winners Meet”, revealed that, overall, association members are more successful than their nonmember counterparts.  The findings indicate that association members earn more, like their jobs more and are even happier people. 

The researchers were quick to point out that the associations themselves do not create those benefits, per se, but that success on the job increases the likelihood of an individual joining an organization. 

Tom drew an interesting comparison to associations being like health clubs.  You don’t lose weight and get in shape by carrying the membership card.  It is only through showing up and working out that you achieve results.  Like the gym, unless you choose to use the resources of your association; professional development tools, certification, networking at association functions, serving the organization, etc., you are not likely to net the greatest gain.

Now, before my students and emerging leader readers say “well, it’s easy for the successful folks to belong to associations.  They have a professional development budget.  Their employer foots the bill.  It doesn’t have to come out of their pocket.” 

And on and on. 

Let it go.  Associations can be remarkably powerful tool for personal and professional development, networking, and career advancement.  If you know where the “winners circle” is, place yourself there. 

Join — learn — serve — network — credential — learn more — network more — serve more — succeed.

Paying the Price

I think it’s safe to say that most everyone knows what they need to do to get what they want.  They just won’t do it.  They are not willing to pay the price.

 

Think about it.  How many times have you thought about making or sticking to a budget, or a diet, or a workout regimen.  The truth is that many of us would love to have more money left at the end of the month, or lose that extra 5 or 10 pounds, or get in shape or complete a 10K or a marathon.  But, until we are willing to take actionable steps toward changing our present behaviors to accomplish our goals, we’ll be left on the sidelines, wishing for the outcome that is impossible until we commit to paying the price.

Of course, there are some goals that are more complicated than others.  For example, if I decided that I wanted to climb Mount Everest, I would be wise to seek the counsel of someone who is a trained and experienced mountain climber.  Or, I could commit to educate myself at my local library, or online, and self train (starting small would probably be prudent, no?).  But, if being more well-read in 2009 is my goal, then success is not much more difficult than shutting off the television and dusting off my library or Barnes & Noble membership cards.

The fact is, that when it comes to achieving our goals, we must understand that there is a price to be paid for achieving anything if significance.  We must simply be willing pay the price. 

For me, this blog is a goal a long time coming.  A dream that until now, lacked the commitment of time and the discipline of structured inspiration, research, and writing.  But today is the beginning of that journey of sharing, learning, and community.

Bon Voyage!